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Diogenes， 59岁， 170cm， 江西 宜春

发布于2024-06-16 15:37

我猜世纪佳缘的美女们鲜有懂得爱与自恋的区别. 虽然我妈妈天天骂我其实她最疼我这个最会冒险的儿子而不是那些听话的, 这是她为什么又把她的几万元叫我以我的名字存了.
"The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one's narcissism. The narcissistc orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself, while the phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are experienced only from the viewpoint of their being useful or dangerous to one. The opposite pole to narcissism is objectivity; it is the faculty to see other people and things as they are, objectively, and to be able to separate this objective picture from a picture which is formed by one's desires and fears"
- Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving
成就爱的主要条件是克服自恋. 自恋的展示仅在于一个人的内心世界的真, 而外在世界却没有在其心里留痕迹. 也就是说它仅对于一个人是有用还是危险的体验. 跟自恋相反的是客观审视. 是这项功能能把其他人和事看明白, 因而能把心里由于想要或恐惧形成的图象与实际的图像分开.
我猜, 即便是这样, 世纪佳缘的美女们依然不知道我在说什么. 打个比方, 我把一口池塘给北京的美女, 北京的美女可能还会嫌脏. 但给她一颗糖, 她可能会高兴. 至于池塘可以养很多鱼, 对身体健康大有益处, 糖可能会伤牙, 这个, 北京的美女不知道. 这是懂爱, 和只会自恋的区别.

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